Falling of the Leaves
by tylaker
Summary: Eren was lost in life. He doesn't want to go on with his life anymore. However Levi shows up, and gives him more to live for.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is the first thing I have ever started writing. I welcome all advice and suggestion. I want to make this fun for the readers as well as myself. Please enjoy! I will always post trigger warnings at the beginning of the chapters. If there is one I forget, please let me know. I know what its like to have triggers and being warned about them helps immensely. **

**I do not own Attack on Titan or any of its characters. (I wish)**

**TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE ATTEMPT, MENTION OF SCARS.**

* * *

The sun was setting. Just above the horizon of maple trees. The deep oranges and reds shimmered on the river.

Eren tried to calm his breathing. As he stood on the bridge, looking to the deep swift river below. He was ready, without another moment to delay he lifted one leg over the bridge and straddled it for a second before climbing completely over to the other side. He held the railing behind him and closed his eyes. Knowing it would be over fast, as he couldn't swim, he let go.

* * *

Levi drove along the slightly lit road, going above the speed limit. His car was loud and he loved listening to the engine purr. He was only 10 minutes from home now, his work was about 40 miles away. It was worth the drive though. The beautiful maple trees were abundant with yellow, orange, and red leaves. The leaves were a foot or so deep on the ground. It was almost as if it was raining, so many of them falling and dancing in the wind as they tumbled from the trees.

He just turned the long corner in the road and was almost to the bridge. Seeing a dark figure on the wrong side of the railing his heart sped up. He pulled over as the figure fell. "Fuck!", he yelled as he turned his hazard lights on and leaped out of the car, not even bothering to close the door.

He ran up to the bridge and began looking for whoever it was that decided to jump. Suddenly seeing a shadow under the water, being dragged along by the fast current, Levi jumped right over the railing and into the water. He was a strong swimming and wouldn't be dragged under easy.

He gasped at how cold the water was when he hit the river. He forced the stinging out of his head and began to swim hard with the current. As he got closer to the person in front of him he noticed the river getting wider and deeper, the current slightly faster now. Finally Levi was close enough as he dove and reached for the body, finally grabbing ahold of an arm he shot back up to the top, taking a big breath when his head broke through the top.

He started swimming to the side of the river with his arm under the shoulders of the unconscious person that he was slowly dragging to shore. He immediately knew that they, whoever they were, was not breathing.

Quickly reaching the shore he carried them up the bank, setting them down once the land was flat. He looked at the person he had just saved and realized it was a boy. A boy with a beautiful face and dark brown hair. Levi was quick to check for a pulse but he couldn't feel one. He started doing chest compressions right away, stopping after 30 to give the young boy 2 deep breaths. He continued doing this for 2 minutes before the boy suddenly spit all the water out of his lungs, coughing hard. Levi suddenly picked him up, with one leg under the boy's knees and the other supporting his shoulders. He ran down the bank towards the bridge and his car, it was about a half mile away. The boy continued to cough but he didn't open his eyes or lift his head. Levi ran as fast as he could, feeling like he was walking at a snails pace. Levi knew he needed to rush as every moment was important to saving the boy.

After what felt like an hour, they got to the car in a little over 5 minutes. Levi hurriedly opened the back door and put the boy down in the back seat. He reached into the center console and grabbed his phone, calling 911.

* * *

After hanging up with dispatch, he took the boy's hand in his and studied him. Levi guessed him to not be any older than 20. He was impatient, waiting for the paramedics. He was breathing easy by now but still not responsive. Blood ran down his head from a wound that Levi assumed was from the sharp rocks at the bottom of the river. Levi took off his shirt and applied pressure to it.

His eyes fell to the many horizontal lines on his arms. The scars were obviously self inflicted, but they were accompanied by burn scars and bruises. His other arm was the same.

Suddenly his heart dropped. He saw a deep bite wound in the muscle below his left thumb. It was deep but also looked a few days old. It was one that should have gotten a number of stitches. Judging by the scar tissue around it, he knew that he had bitten himself there more than once. He found himself worrying about this boy he had saved. He wondered what pushed him to jump, what he had gone through. Before Levi could get in too deep of thought he heard the sirens.

Soon the ambulance was beside his car. The paramedics jumped out and ran to Levi. One was a small boy with blond hair and bright blue eyes. He was the first to get to him and asked, "What's the….", His eyes moved to the young boy. "EREN!", he yelled in fright and rushed over and grabbed his arm.

"Jean!" the boy yelled behind him to the other approaching EMT, "Its Eren!"

"Fuck! Seriously?!" He rushed up besides the blonde boy who was checking his pulse. "What happened?!" Jean turned to Levi who had gotten out of their way.

"I was driving by when I saw him jump into the river", Levi spoke up. "I jumped in after him, when I got him up to shore he wasn't breathing and didn't have a pulse. I did CPR until he started breathing on his own, and carried him here."

"Not again." Armin said in a quiet voice, not thinking the others would hear him.

"Shit", Jean said while writing on his clipboard, "Armin, what's his pulse?".

"89." Armin said as his voice cracked.

"Do you two know him?" Levi asked with curiosity.

"Yeah, he's my best friend. We all grew up together. I live with him and his sister." Armin replied sharply as he continued getting Eren's vitals. "Thank you so much for saving him."

Jean brought the gurney to the side of the car. He and Armin lifted him up onto it and buckled him down. Jean wheeled him to the back of the ambulance when Armin turned to Levi.

"What about you, are you ok?"

"Yea, just cold"

"Ok, I just need some of your information to finish our report and then you can go."

"Thats fine." Levi paused before asking, "Can you tell me his name? I want to know how he recovers."

Armin blinked and responded hesitantly, he didn't know this man, however he just saved Eren's life and couldn't think of a reason to not tell him. "Eren Jaeger, we will be taking him to North Trost Hospital."

"Thank you."

After Armin was done gathering his information, including name, address, and phone number he left. It was now dark and the moonlight made the river glitter.

Levi groaned as he realized what a mess his car was. There was a good amount of blood in the back seat, not to mention the mud and water from the river. He was a mess too, soaked to the bone and he didn't have any clothes to change into. As he sat in the driver seat he couldn't help but be irritated that he was wearing his nicest suit. "Oh well." he mumbled, and began his journey home.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks to those who have followed and favorited. I feel special… it gives me warm fuzzies that this is being liked by others, let alone being read. I had a hard time with this chapter, the first one flowed out so smoothly and this one, I wrote over and over…. I'm much happier with it now. **

**There isn't much for trigger warnings for this chapter except that Eren is in the hospital recovering from his suicide attempt. Also, I know Levi seems too kind at first, but there is a reason! There will be plenty of his sarcasm and shit jokes by the time this is through.**

**I do not own Attack on Titan or any of its characters. I wish, though as someone pointed out to me earlier today that if it was Eren x Levi would have been a thing, officially, a long time ago. **

Eren, slowly becoming conscious, groaned. Bringing his hand to his head, he felt the bandage covering his wound. '_It wasn't suppose to happen like this._' He thought to himself, eyes still closed. '_I was supposed to die, I can't even swim!' _His head pounded with his heart beat, every sound of the monitors hurt. Eren grew upset that his attempt wasn't successful. Slowly trying to open his eyes. The light blinded him and caused his pain to spike. Everything was blurry for a few moments, he looked around the room and saw a small man sitting in one of the chairs, watching him. He was short and had silver eyes. His hair long enough to cover his ears but had an undercut in the back.

"I'm glad to see you've woken up." The man said as he stood up and walked over to him.

"Who are you?" Eren was surprised to hear his voice was scratchy. He groaned and rolled to his side, curling up into a ball, covering his face with his hands.

"I'm Levi, I would ask how you feel but I think thats a bit obvious." Levi replied. "I'll go let the nurse you're awake." He turned and left the room.

"Fuuuuck!" Eren yelled while rolling to his other side. The pain was growing worse. His eyes turning grey instead of being dark while closed. He held his breath waiting for the spike to drop. Eren didn't get migraines often, though he wondered if it was the stress of living, or the hit to the head he took in the river that caused it. He failed to hear the door or the footsteps coming back into his room.

"Eren?" He heard a woman talking to him but was only able to respond with a low moan. "I'm Dr. Hanji. Are you in pain?" Eren slowly noded. "Can you look at me?" Eren slowly turned onto his back, and tried to open his eyes as his hands dropped to his sides. A taller woman with long brown hair, that was pulled into a ponytail, looked at him with concern. "I'm gonna shine a light in your eyes ok?" He nodded as she pulled out a small flashlight, she quickly shined it into one eye and then the other.

"God that hurts." Eren hissed before closing his eyes again.

"I need you to open your eyes and tell me how many fingers I'm holding." Eren peeked at her before responding with a short, three. Hanji nodded and said softly, "Do you remember what happened?"

"I….. jumped into a river. It was cold. I felt my head hit something. I don't remember anything after that."

"Eren, why did you jump in the river?"

"I wanted to go for a swim." He knew if he answered truthfully he would go back to that place. The mental hospital. Last time he was there for 4 weeks before they let him go. Horrible memories flooded through him like he was drowning all over again.

Hanji sighed, "Eren, I know you can't swim, not to mention its the end of September and the water is freezing."

Feeling cornered, he realized he would have to tell the truth. Which sucked because he just wanted out of the hospital to try again. "I wanted to die, alright?" He spat out, without opening his eyes.

"You are very lucky you didn't, Levi just happened to be driving past the bridge as you jumped."

Eren didn't respond. For one he was in too much pain to talk, but he also didn't want to say anything that would cause him to be held in the hospital longer than necessary.

"Alright, I'm going to go get something for your head. Try to relax and calm down. I'll be right back" He heard the footsteps retreating followed by the door closing. He opened his eyes briefly when he felt like he was being watched. He saw the man that introduced himself as Levi standing on the other side of the bed.

"What are you doing here?" He said quietly.

"I wanted to make sure you were ok." Even though Eren's eyes were closed once again, Levi couldn't bring himself to look at him. The boy had reminded him of himself. He tried to push his memories out of his head while his eyes looked to the floor and held his hands behind his back. "You've been unconscious for about 24 hours."

Eren didn't respond, instead he started crying. It was from anguish and the fact that he was still here, suffering in his mind, than his migraine that created his sobs.

Levi didn't yell, but he was also stern with his words. "I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but things will get better."

'_You don't know anything,'_ Eren thought to himself. '_Why can't this just be over.'_

Levi walked over and sat on the side of the bed, putting a hand gently on Eren's back."It's ok, it will be ok."

* * *

Armin sat at the table, staring at his food that he had barely touched. The blonde couldn't stop thinking about how he found Eren last night. His friend had been missing for a few days, and honestly he thought it was already too late.

"Armin, you ok?" Armin startled and looked up to see Jean and Mikasa looking at him with worried eyes.

"Yea, just lost in thought." He started to eat the dinner Mikasa had made for them. It was a simple pasta dish with alfredo sauce and basil. He heard the phone ring followed by Mikasa standing up to answer it.

"Hello?... Yea this is her….. I understand…. Yes we will be by tonight to visit him…. Thank you, bye." Mikasa came back to the table and sat down. "That was the hospital. Eren woke up a bit ago. I'm going to go see him if either of you want to join me."

"No, I have work in an hour." Jean responded, he wasn't exactly on good terms with Eren, but they managed to play nice for Mikasa's sake. He didn't want to cause trouble in the hospital tonight.

"I'll go with you." Armin spoke quietly. He was so worried for Eren, but at the same time he was tired. They have all gone through this multiple times with him. He would disappear and end up at the hospital after his attempts. None of them knew what to do anymore. Ever since Carla, Eren's mom, had died, Eren had been in this deep depression.

"Alright, we should get going," Mikasa stood back up and started to walk to the front door after placing a kiss on Jean, "Call me when you get on break."

* * *

Mikasa and Armin walked into the small hospital room Eren was in. He was obviously upset, trying to hold back sobs. His back was facing them and was curled in a ball.

"Eren?" Mikasa approached the bed and softly put her hand on his shoulder.

"Mikasa?" Eren turned to her and quickly wiped his face from tears and sat up. His migraine had lessened from the medication the doctor had given him. Mikasa sat on the bed and hugged him tightly.

"I'm so happy you're ok." Mikasa spoke softly, Hanji had told them of his head injury and how it was causing a migraine.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." Eren was barely able to speak before he broke down in sobs once again. He wrapped his arms around Mikasa and lied his head on her chest. He was trembling like he was cold, but Mikasa knew that it was from stress, not lack of heat.

"Shh, its 're here now." Armin said as he sat on the other side of the bed and put his hand to Erens head and rubbed his hair.

They heard the door open and turned to see who it was that came in. Armin jumped up as he saw Levi close the door behind him. He looked up and seemed surprised to see them for a second. "I'm sorry, I will leave you alone to talk." He turned to leave but Armin spoke up.

"Wait, I'll come with you." Armin wanted a chance to talk to the raven. He hurried to the door and walked out with Levi.

"Who was that?" Mikasa asked Eren.

"Um... His name is Levi. I guess he was the one to save me yesterday."

Her eyes widened, "Him? But he's so small." She nudged Eren in his arm, trying to get him to smile. He chuckled softly.

"Apparently he's a lot stronger than he looks."

* * *

**A/N: Please let me know what you think with a review or a message. Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I am so sorry for my absence. I ended up being in the hospital for 7 weeks. I am doing much better. I wrote up a good bit while I was in there, so weekly updates should be a thing for a while. :) I just have to get them typed because its all hand written in a notebook. Thanks for the reviews, you make this much more awesome.**

**I own none of the Attack on Titan characters.**

**This first bit should have been tacked onto chapter two but whatever. It was a last minute add. lol**

**Mention of rape, human trafficking, self harm, suicide, etc…. **

* * *

Armin followed Levi out of the room. Levi had his hands in his pocket, looking to the floor, waiting for questions that he did not want to answer; it would hurt too much to explain exactly why he needed to make sure Eren was ok.

"What was it you wanted to talk about?" Levi asked with a forcefulness that made Armin stutter.

"I… w-wanted to know why you're so interested in Eren," The blonde looked straight into the grey depths that would have made anyone else falter.

"Well first off, I saved him, and wanted to make sure he was okay. Secondly it's _none_ of your buisness… He reminds me of someone I was very close to." Levi glared at Armin with his deep raven grey eyes.

"You aren't planning on playing with him, using him, and dumping him are you?"

"Fuck, no! I just want to be a friend. Help him through this. It seems that he could use a couple more. Sure wouldn't hurt."

"As long as you aren't going to take advantage of him. That's happened way too much. With his borderline personality disorder, he thinks the world of people and it's so hard for him to overcome it when he gets hurt. If you hurt him in any way, Mikasa and I will have to make sure you hurt as bad as he does." Armin sighed heavily. "Before you get too deep into a friendship with him, you need to know something."

"Know about his past you mean? I saw the PTSD in his chart along with his borderline. I didn't dig into his past though."

"Yes. His past is hard for anyone to hear, let alone for him to deal with. You need to know his triggers, what to do during a flash-back or a panic-attack while he is with you. He might get upset that I'm telling you, but the benefits outweigh the consequences. I'll mostly explain how to calm him down and how to keep him calm. The details will be kept to a minimum in case Eren wants to tell you himself someday."

Levi took his hands out of his pockets and crossed his arms across his chest, as he leaned against the wall. "Okay, I'm listening."

As they talked, Levi was amazed at how much Eren had gone through at such a young age. Eren and Mikasa were kidnapped by human traffickers when they were 7. The traffickers killed Carla, their mom, in front of them, after Eren didn't know where the family safe was. After that they burned down the house.

The men were going to kill Mikasa for refusing to cooperate. So Eren made a deal with them, he would take everything. All the punishment, the abuse, the torture, and accept it willingly. So that Mikasa would be spared and left alone for the most part.

A couple months later, Eren had a chance to fight back. the ocean-eyed boy got a hold of a pocket knife, he managed to kill 3 of the the 4 men. This allowed Mikasa to escape and get help. The 4th man attempted to choke Eren to death, but he got free from the man's hold by using his Kendo skills. It was futile in the end as the large man snatched the pocket knife from Eren and stabbed him 4 times.

The police ran in and shot him at the last second. Eren was stabbed twice in his right arm, one of those in his hand, His hand suffered permanent damage, he had to learn to write left-handed and couple barely grasp things with his right. The other two hit his chest. One hitting a lung the other missing his heart by centimeters. He was lucky to be alive.

Mikasa said they did nothing to her, besides the verbal sexual harassment and rough handling when they needed to move her. Eren prayed this was true. She got out emaciated but otherwise okay. She had heard them talking about how it would be better to wait until she was older, that she was worth more money that way.

About three years later Eren started bouncing between moods several times a day. As the years went on he started having flashbacks. It isolated him at school. He never shared what his flashbacks were about, not even to Armin and Mikasa. They were sure he was raped a lot during the time in the warehouse. Eren did everything to protect Mikasa and she blamed herself for his problems.

Eren started self harming at age 16. Cutting, burning, skin scraping… His mood swings became more intense in severity and frequency. He started disassociating and having rage outbursts, nightmares and night terrors. He loved his friends one minute and the next would hate them for not responding to a text message fast enough. Soon he'd love them again because they gave him a compliment. For Eren, there was no like, no maybe, or middle ground. It was black and white, yes and no, his way or the highway. He was so determined to win everything and this led to many fist fights.

As he got older, he realized that his way of thinking was the odd one out. He tried to just agree with the majority and keep an open mind on him. But it was hard and stressful. He easily became obsessed with things to keep him occupied and away from others.

Depression set in when he was 18. His grades were good enough, but he hadn't found his calling yet. College was definitely on the no list.

Soon enough, the thought that his mother's death was his fault set in. He also decided that his father leaving when he was 3 also much have been his fault. After all, his mother was perfect in his eyes, so it couldn't have been anything she did.

Eren decided he wasn't deserving of the world. He attempted suicide again and again. So for none of the medications helped. They failed to find him any motivation. He couldn't hold down a job, he couldn't even care for himself very well. He needed reminders to eat, sleep, shower, etc. This is why he was on SSI since age 16. He had a long history of being mentally unstable.

This drowning was attempt number six. Mikasa and Armin were talking about having him committed.

"Wow, that's a lot to take in," Levi said almost breathlessly.

"Yeah, but we are all he has, and even though it's hard on us we need to be there for him. He protected me all my school life. We're doing everything we can for him…"

"I'll try to figure something out."

"Thanks Levi, any ideas are welcome. I'm going back to the room now, I want to see Eren before visiting hours are over." Armin turned and walked away. Levi offered a small wave before heading home for the night.

* * *

Levi and Eren sat in the small conference room. It was two weeks since Eren's attempt, and once he recovered, he was moved to the behavioral health center. Levi not only visited him as a friend, but he was also a doctor in the hospital. For both professional and personal reasons, Levi was not Eren's doctor, however he kept a close eye on the boy to make sure he was taken care of.

"How are you feeling today?" Levi asked with worried eyes. Through his feelings rarely showed on his face, those with the ability to read people know what the raven was feeling. People like Eren, and it was all due to his eyes.

"I don't know, they put me on a new med and while I don't feel like I want to die, I'm not really looking forward to anything either. I could stay here my whole life and I wouldn't give a fuck. Nor would I care if someone invited me to live in Japan with them."

"Be sure to tell Dr. Petra that. Having borderline personality disorder combined with post traumatic stress disorder makes it hard to get the right combinations of medication."

"Yea, I know. I've never had a successful combo myself…"

"Either way, no longer being suicidal is a good step in the right direction."

Eren rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

"Oi, brat! Armin told me you liked drawing…" Levi pulled a small box and art pad from his suitcase. "It's only charcoals and a kneaded eraser, along with an art pad. You must get them from the nurse's station when you want to use them and return them when you are done. The will keep hold of the sharpener, so if you need it, it will be used under supervision."

Like Eren could read Levi's emotions through his eyes, Levi could read Eren's in the same way Eren took the box of charcoal and opened it. His eyes glowed as he examined the box. It was a variety pack of different values of charcoal pencils and blocks. Even white ones, blending sticks, a kneaded eraser, along with a sketching pencil. There was an empty spot that must have been where the sharpener sat. It was perfect.

"Domo arigato, Levi!" Eren's eyes flashed with excitement and determination. Levi couldn't help but smirk at the the "numb" boy's happiness. He was obviously was feeling better than he let on.

At first, when Eren found out that Levi was a psychologist and worked at the same hospital that he was staying at, he was furious. He hadn't exactly forgiven the raven for rescuing him, yet within a few days he was thankful for his new friend. Even if he was short and intimidating.

Something within Eren, something that he couldn't name, fluttered through him whenever he visited or thought about Levi. It felt like a surge of energy that ran through him and tingled every part of his body. Not to mention, Eren had a good view of Levi's nice ass when he walked out of the room.

Levi had an attachment of sorts for Eren as well, but both of them kept their feelings inside and hidden, worried for rejection.

Levi looked at his watch, "Sorry brat, I've got work to do." He said as he stood up. Eren made the puppy face he was so good at, he wanted Levi to stay longer. Mikasa and Armin hadn't visited even once since the night after his attempt. Levi noticed this so he took a mental note to call them later and give them an ear full.

Eren stood up and hugged Levi. "Arigato for the gifts."

"You're welcome, snotty brat. Now let go; you know physical contact isn't allowed."

Eren released the raven from his arms and hugged his new art supplies instead, "Dewa mata?"

"Yes, I'll see you tomorrow." Levi left to go tend to his patients. It felt like yesterday when he pulled Eren from the river, but it was in fact 3 weeks ago. The ocean-blue-eyed boy had quite an impact on him. His mind wandered to the first night at the hospital when Eren woke up. Armin had told him so much about Eren. What to do, what not to do, what was ok to say and what would be a trigger. Levi was a psychologist so he knew a lot of the basics to help, but the raven was thankful that the blond told him about Eren. Especially about his love of art.

* * *

**So I'm learning Japanese. If any of you know the language and notice a mistake, please let me know so I can fix it and learn more. **

**Domo Arigato: Thank you very much.**

**Arigato: Thank you.**

**Dewa Mata: Well, again? (Used to mean, see you later, or see you tomorrow, etc)**


End file.
